The Christmas Quandary: Sweet Historical Holiday Romance (Hardman Holidays Book 5) Read online

  A giggle escaped her as she thought of Dora’s odd collection of hats, none of them particularly appealing but all conversation-worthy. “I’ll remind her of that if I get lonesome and want them to visit.”

  Although he wasn’t one given to displays of affection where anyone might see, Emerson wrapped his arms around Lila and held her close. “Oh, Lila, my love, you’ll make our home such a happy place to be. I think we should move the wedding date up from the spring and wed in February. Will that give you and Mother plenty of time for planning our wedding?”

  “I suppose so,” Lila muttered against the soft fabric of Emerson’s coat. Her mind spun in a hundred directions, all of them refusing to settle on a wedding date. When she thought of standing at the front of a church and exchanging vows with the man she loved, she pictured herself in the church in Hardman with Chauncy officiating. Perhaps, she could talk Emerson into returning to Hardman for the wedding.

  The folly of her thoughts caught up with her as she envisioned Emerson’s parents and their friends traveling to the small town for a simple wedding. It would never happen, no matter how much she might like it to.

  “Come on, darling, let’s get you inside,” Emerson said, releasing her, then cupping her elbow in his hand, guiding her toward the front door.

  Throughout dinner, Lila remained subdued and distracted by her thoughts. Blake, Ginny, Dora and Greg were there, making for a lively atmosphere, but Lila didn’t want to be part of the animated conversations.

  Rather than join the family in the parlor after dinner, she used the excuse of having a headache and retiring to her room. In truth, her head did ache, mostly from her thoughts relentlessly traveling between Tom and Emerson, New York and Hardman.

  She flopped down on her bed and curled up around one of the pillows, clutching it to her chest like a lifeline.

  Before she could stop them, great sobs wracked through her. She buried her face in a pillow and let the tears she’d bottled up for so long fall. A dam of emotion burst free and she cried. She cried for the loss of her parents. She cried for the young innocent girl she used to be who had to suddenly grow up and deal with harsh reality. She cried for the ache in her heart caused by her inability to decide if she should allow herself to love Tom or remain loyal to Emerson. Torn by her affection for the two men, she wanted to make them both happy. No matter what or whom she chose, someone would end up with a broken heart.

  A gentle hand on her back caused her to suck in a big gulp of air. She sat up and looked into the understanding face of Filly.

  The woman held out a handkerchief and took a seat on the bed next to her. Lila mopped her face and drew in a shaky breath.

  “What’s wrong, Lila? And don’t tell me you have a headache. I think the only one who believed that was Emerson.” Filly rubbed a comforting circle on Lila’s back as she spoke.

  “I just needed some time alone,” Lila said, wiping her eyes again. The tears she’d held back so long refused to cease trailing down her cheeks.

  “We all need time alone. I’ll go if you want me to,” Filly said, studying Lila. “Sometimes, we just need a listening ear to share our problems.”

  Lila’s lip quivered and she nodded her head as tears gushed from her eyes with renewed force. “Why is it so hard?” she asked between sobs.

  Filly held her and let her cry, offering soothing words. When the storm subsided, Lila sat back and again mopped at her face.

  “What’s so hard, Lila? What made you so upset?” Filly continued to keep a hand on Lila’s back, lending the girl strength.

  “It’s Emerson… and Tom… and leaving… and staying and… everything!”

  Filly hid a smile as Lila continued dabbing at her cheeks with the soggy handkerchief. Filly opened the dresser drawer where she knew Lila kept her handkerchiefs and pulled out two, handing one to the distraught girl.

  Once Lila wiped her face and blew her nose, Filly tried again. “What upset you, Lila? Did Tom or Emerson say or do something? And what’s this about staying?”

  Lila sniffled and knotted the handkerchief in her hand, twisting it into a tight little rope. “Tom and Emerson are both wonderful and neither of them has done anything but be kind and caring and…” Tears threatened to spill again, so Lila took a deep breath, then another. “They haven’t done anything. It’s just that I care for them both a great deal and I don’t…”

  “You don’t know which direction to turn, is that it? The feelings you have for both of them has you torn between returning to New York with Emerson and staying here with Tom. Is that correct?” Filly asked with great insight into Lila’s problems and the girl’s heart.

  Lila nodded and dabbed at her nose. “I just don’t know what to do. Up until Tom arrived in town, I didn’t give a single thought to remaining here or doing anything other than returning to New York to marry Emerson.”

  “But…” Filly coaxed, knowing there was much more to the story.

  “But now, after spending time with Tom, after becoming his friend, I don’t want to leave.” Lila turned to Filly with a stricken look on her face. “How can I feel this way? It’s not fair to Tom or Emerson to be so undecided about what to do or who to love.”

  Filly gave her a knowing look. “Oh, I think you know, deep in your heart, who you love. The question is, will you allow yourself to follow your heart. Only you can decide, Lila. You’ll only ever know true happiness if you give your heart what it wants. Be certain, without a single speck of doubt about your decision, before you do anything rash. Listen to what your heart is telling you, Lila, not your head.”

  Lila looked at Filly with a watery smile. “So hiding out in my room until Emerson returns to New York and Tom goes back to Portland isn’t the best decision?”

  Filly laughed. “I should say not. You’ll miss the Christmas carnival, the children’s program, not to mention Christmas Eve services and Christmas Day. I happen to know you don’t want to miss Christmas Day. Saint Nicholas might bring you something special.”

  “I don’t think a ninny like me deserves anything special,” Lila said, taking a cleansing breath.

  “On the contrary, you deserve all the happy, wonderful things life sends your way, dear girl. Just be open to accepting the gifts with grace. You might be surprised by what you receive.” Filly gave Lila a hug around her shoulders.

  Lila squeezed Filly’s hand and stood. “Are we still talking about Christmas presents or something else?”

  “A little of both,” Filly smiled and rose to her feet. “Just think about what I said, Lila. This is one time you should most definitely ignore reason and race in the direction your heart leads.”

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d accuse you of reading those love stories Ginny enjoys so much.”

  Filly laughed as she walked to the door. “Maybe I have.”

  Lila watched her leave then took a seat in the plush chair across the room. She pulled her feet up beneath her skirt and hugged her knees, resting her cheek against them. She had much to think about and wanted, more than anything, to decide what path her heart urged her to take.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Tom smiled at his mother as they strode up the walk to Greg and Dora Granger’s imposing home. Garlands draped the porch balustrades, accented with cheery red bows. Two big wreaths hung on the front doors and the sound of cheerful voices blended in an energetic harmony from inside the house.

  Before James had an opportunity to knock on the door, it swung open and a butler greeted them with a formal bow.

  “Christmas tidings to you all, Mr. and Mrs. Grove, and Tom,” the man said with a friendly nod.

  “Happy Christmas tidings to you, Mr. Callard,” Junie said, smiling as they stepped inside the beautiful home.

  “Allow me to take your coats. Guests are mingling in the parlor, the library, and upstairs in the ballroom. Mrs. Guthry will begin her magic show at precisely eleven. She wished to do it before we dine this year.”

  “She mentioned that the othe
r day,” Junie said, giving James a warm smile as he helped her remove her coat. “I’m always more than happy to watch her perform, regardless of the time.”

  Tom shrugged out of his and they handed their coats to the butler.

  Mr. Callard smiled and bowed then handed their coats to one of the younger servants who hovered nearby. “Enjoy the Christmas carnival,” the man said.

  “Oh, we will, Mr. Callard,” James said, placing a hand at the small of Junie’s back and urging her toward the parlor. Tom spoke with a few friends and neighbors, glancing around for Lila. He saw Emerson deep in conversation with the owner of one of the outlying ranches, but she was nowhere in sight.

  He made his way out of the room and down the hall toward the kitchen. Women laughed and talked as they bustled around the expansive room under Filly’s capable direction. Although he hoped to find Lila there, she wasn’t among those in the room. He peeked into the room being used as a nursery but she wasn’t admiring the babies.

  Highly doubting he’d find her in the library where many of the men preferred to gather before the festivities began, he made his way upstairs to the ballroom.

  Arlan struggled to set up a heavy paneled prop on the stage where Alex would soon perform.

  Tom rushed over to help him.

  “Thanks, Tom. I wasn’t certain if I was on the winning end of things for a moment.” Arlan grinned at him. “How does this day find you?”

  “Well, thank you. How are you and Alex?” Tom asked, setting the brace that would hold the prop upright.

  “Alex is feeling well today. Late morning and early evening seem to be the times of day when she feels the best, so that’s why we decided to move the time of her performance.” Arlan opened a box that contained a number of props for Alex’s magic tricks and removed a few, setting them on a nearby table.

  Tom helped him, looking at him in concern. “Will Alex be able to return to teaching in January?”

  “That is the hope, although I’m not certain how she’ll manage. Most days, she requires an afternoon nap. Then there is the matter of her sickness. Sometimes it lasts all day, not just in the morning.” Arlan noticed the worry creasing Tom’s brow and thumped him on the back. “Don’t worry about it, Tom. I’m sure everything will work out just fine.”

  “I hope so, sir.” Tom helped Arlan set out the remainder of the props then glanced around the room. A few people lingered at the back, but Lila wasn’t among them. He looked over at Arlan. “You haven’t, by chance, seen Lila Granger, have you?”

  Arlan grinned. “As a matter of fact, she’s at our house helping my wife with her costume. Alex hasn’t worn a costume for a while and had a slight problem getting one on in her… condition. Lila volunteered to help her since Abby has all she can handle right now.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Dodd seems to be quite…” Tom searched for an appropriate description. “Miserable.”

  Arlan nodded in agreement. “That she does.” He leaned closer to Tom. “In fact, if that baby doesn’t arrive before the new year, I’ll eat my wife’s top hat.”

  Tom grinned. “I’d bet on that if I didn’t happen to agree.”

  A chuckle rolled out of Arlan. He placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder and gave him a nudge toward the door. “Would you mind running over to our place and seeing if Alex is about ready? She wanted to sneak up the back stairs rather than do a grand entry through the front. Could you help make that happen, Tom?”

  “I sure can, Arlan. Leave it to me.” Tom hurried downstairs and didn’t even bother with his coat. Rather, he jogged along the boardwalk, cut over two streets, crossed Main, and rounded a corner to arrive at the Guthry home.

  A tap on the door was met with muffled voices then Lila swung it open.

  Surprise registered on her face as she stared at him. “What are you doing here?”

  Tom grinned. “Arlan sent me to fetch Alex the Amazing and escort her up the back stairs to the stage.

  “Oh,” Lila said, stepping aside so Tom could enter.

  Alex appeared pale and wan as she desperately tugged on the buttons of an elaborately embroidered waistcoat, attempting to force it closed. “It’s no use. I simply can’t fasten them.”

  Tom bit back his amusement in the matter and studied Alex. “Do you have a long length of narrow ribbon, something that will match your costume?”

  Alex gave him a puzzled glance, but nodded. “I think there’s a piece of ribbon in my sewing basket, there by the rocker.”

  Lila hurried to upend the basket and retrieved a long piece of red ribbon.

  Tom pointed to Alex’s waistcoat. “Thread it back and forth through the button holes then around the buttons, like you would a…” He stopped himself. It wouldn’t do at all to refer to a corset in front of either woman.

  Alex and Lila both stared at him.

  “Shoe lace.”

  Lila hurried to lace up the front of Alex’s waistcoat then tied a bow at the top. She stepped back and critically eyed her work. “I think that will do quite nicely. Thank you, Tom, for that brilliant suggestion.” She smiled at Alex. “What else do you need?”

  “My cloak and hat. Arlan already took over the rest of my things.”

  Alex appeared woozy and grasped the back of a chair for support. Tom hurried to her side. “Are you sure you feel up to performing, Alex? You can cancel if you want to.”

  “No, I can do this,” she said, taking a deep breath and reaching in her pocket for a peppermint. She popped it in her mouth and sucked on the candy.

  “Does peppermint help?” Tom asked, taking Alex’s cloak from Lila and draping it around the woman’s shoulders.

  “I’m not sure if it does or not, but I like to think it might.” She settled her hat on her head at a jaunty angle and strode to the door. Tom held Lila’s coat while she slipped it on and together, they flanked Alex as they walked to Greg and Dora’s home.

  Lila took them around to a back entrance and up the servant’s stairs to the second floor. By sneaking down a hallway Tom didn’t even know existed, they entered the ballroom from the back and Alex walked into Arlan’s arms as he waited for her.

  The volume of those waiting to watch Alex perform increased as more and more people filled the ballroom.

  “Are you well, dear lady?” Arlan asked, leaning back to look into Alex’s face.

  “Well enough, Arlan. I’ll have plenty of time to rest after the performance. You can coddle me all you like then.”

  Tom turned away to hide his amusement at Arlan’s fussing over his wife. If he was this concerned now, he wondered what the man would be like when Alex reached the advanced stages of her pregnancy. As he considered the amusement Arlan’s behavior would provide, Tom wondered if his father would act any differently when Junie reached her due date. He hoped he was around to see for himself, since Alex and his mother were due near the same time.

  Alex moved away from Arlan and surveyed the props, set up just as she wanted them. “Shall we put on a magic show?”

  “We shall.” Arlan kissed her cheek then motioned to Tom and Lila. “Would you two mind announcing the show is about to begin?”

  “Of course,” Lila said, taking Tom’s arm and stepping from behind the curtain out onto the stage. People filled the ballroom, excitement on their faces as they waited for Alex to perform.

  Lila tried multiple times to get their attention, but the noise level was so high, no one heard her. Finally, Tom leaned down and told Lila to cover her ears. When she did, he emitted an ear-splitting whistle that immediately silenced everyone in the room.

  “Go ahead, Lila,” he said, giving her a nudge forward.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, Alex the Amazing is ready to bring you phantasmagorical feats of spellbinding wonder and prestidigitation,” Lila said, smiling at those gathered in the ballroom. “If you’ll please be seated, the show is about to begin.”

  People poured into the ballroom, lining the edges of the room. Youngsters crowded around the stage, taking seats on the floor.
Luke waved to Lila and she tugged Tom along with her, sitting down next to her cousin.

  Tom took a seat next to her then reached forward and squeezed his father’s shoulder. “I hoped you two had good seats.”

  James turned to his son and smiled. “We made sure to get seats early. I wouldn’t want to miss one of Alex’s shows.”

  “I’m excited to see this one,” Tom said. He glanced over at Lila as anticipation added a happy glow to her face. Delighted to see she wore a silver-toned gown that matched her eyes, he found himself admiring the curve of her cheek, the determined set of her chin, the lush richness of her dark hair.

  Lila Granger was a beautiful, intelligent, fun-loving woman. One he desperately wanted to claim as his own.

  Thoughts of her fiancé made him glance around. Finally, he spied Emerson talking with the owner of the lumberyard near the door. Extremely pleased there wasn’t room for Emerson to join them in their row of chairs, Tom draped his arm across the back of Lila’s seat and leaned a little closer to her, inhaling her spring-like scent.

  Lila laughed at Luke and smacked his arm. “You are hopeless, Luke Granger. The only reason you suggested Arlan ask me to introduce her was so you could beg me to use phantasmagorical and prestidigitation in the announcement.”

  “Guilty as charged,” Luke said with a broad grin. “I can’t help it if those are exceptionally fine words. Don’t you agree, Tom?”

  Tom nodded. “They are fun, Lila Lilac. Don’t be so hard on Luke. It’s not every day he can work those into more than once sentence.”

  Lila laughed and gave Luke an amused expression before turning to face the stage as the show began.

  Alex, with Arlan’s assistance, offered a show that left her audience awed. In fact, at one point in the performance, Tom was sure a pin could have bounced on the floor and everyone would have heard it.

  Arlan and Alex came out on the stage to take a final bow. Alex cupped a hand around her ear and gave Arlan a questioning glance. “Do you hear that, Mr. Guthry?”