Heart of Hope Read online

  “I’m sorry, Josh. I sometimes forget how hard your mom made life for you and Callan because you both turned out to be such wonderful people.”

  Josh shoved his hands into his pockets as he looked at his feet. He hated thinking about his mother or talking about her. His mother never wanted him or Callan and made the fact perfectly clear nearly every day of his life. That was why he insisted their baby never know Jenna didn’t want it, even if she’d done a complete turnaround in her thinking.

  “Josh?” Jenna tipped his chin up with her finger, so he met her gaze. “We’ll both be the very best parents we know how to be. Right?”

  “Right.” A small smile broke through his dismal thoughts as he returned his focus to their twins. “Now that we have an official photo of the babies, can we start telling everyone?”

  “You act like it’s something that’ll be announced on the news at five this evening or trumpeted across the morning paper as a headline.” Jenna laughed at the idea.

  “I’ve got time to call the paper before they go to print,” Josh teased, giving her a roguish wink. “Seriously, though, why don’t we have a barbecue tomorrow and invite over the people we want to share this with the most?”

  “Okay. Let’s ask Callan and Clay to come over early and she can help me get the food ready since I will quite likely require a nap before everyone arrives.”

  After driving home in separate vehicles, Josh went back out to work in the fields while Jenna took a rest. He returned to the house late that evening to find Jenna collapsed in the living room. Although she slept, one of the baby books from Callan was open on her lap.

  The kitchen was a disaster. It looked like she’d been baking and getting things ready for the barbecue. Chunked potatoes cooled in a bowl and a pan of boiled eggs overflowed with cold water. Dishes filled the sink and the counter bore traces of chocolate.

  Hurriedly opening the refrigerator door, Josh spied a chocolate cake and resisted the urge to cut out a huge slice.

  Instead, he dumped the water off the eggs and peeled them, placing them in a resealable bag, then put the eggs and potatoes in the fridge. He loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters, and rinsed the dishrag as Jenna walked in from the living room and sat down at the bar.

  “Josh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave such a mess. I got so tired, I needed to sit down for a minute and fell asleep.” Jenna glanced around the clean kitchen in appreciation. “I hate for you to work so hard outside and then have to come inside and help me. I’m really sorry.”

  “Babe, let’s come to an understanding right now.” Josh leaned across the counter until his nose and hers nearly touched. He took her hand in his and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I know the babies are sucking your energy and strength right now. I also know you feel terrible about not being able to do all the things you usually do, but it’s fine. If that means I need to put in a load of dishes or laundry or scrub the bathroom, I’ll take care of it. You may have to point me in the right direction sometimes, but please stop apologizing. I’ll do whatever needs to be done that you can’t, but I want you to stop being sorry. Your job is to make sure you take good care of you for the sake of the babies. Wow! I just said babies. That makes it seem real somehow, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes, it does. That and the photo tacked to the fridge for the world to see,” Jenna teased as her gaze settled on the grainy ultrasound of their twins. Josh placed it on the refrigerator door as soon as he arrived home from the doctor appointment. When Jenna walked into the kitchen, it greeted her and the sight of those two little babies brought a sense of joy that was slowly overcoming her sense of dread.

  “Since I’ve been so extraordinarily helpful this evening, I don’t suppose I could have a piece of cake as a reward. Please?” Josh begged, looking much like he must have as a little boy with a wave of his dark hair falling across his forehead and gray eyes glittering.

  “You may not cut into the cake in the fridge.” Happy she’d made Josh his own little cake, she grinned at him. “You may, however, have what is sitting under the bowl in the pantry.”

  Josh hurried to open the pantry door and found a plate sitting under a bowl with an individual chocolate cake. Frosted and ready for him to devour, he slid the plate onto the counter, took out some vanilla ice cream, and dropped a scoop on the cake.

  He sat down next to Jenna and savored the first bite, closing his eyes and sighing in pleasure.

  Josh smiled gratefully as he dove in for a second bite. “Thank you, Babe. This is really good.”

  “You’re welcome.” Jenna wrapped a hand around his arm and gave it a loving squeeze. “Are you going to be a complete pig and not even offer me a bite?”

  Josh glanced down at the cake then back at Jenna. He hadn’t planned on sharing. It was chocolate, after all. “Do you want some?”

  “No, I’m just giving you a bad time, but pass the ice cream. It sounds good.”

  The next evening, the people who meant the most to them gathered at their house for dinner. Phil and Amelia drove out from the city. Callan, Clay, and their girls were there along with Clay’s parents, Jake and his parents, Josh’s dad, and Josh’s Aunt Julie and Uncle Ralph as well as Laken and Tyler Johnson with their two kids, Alex and Brant.

  Jenna removed the ultrasound photo from the refrigerator because she didn’t want to give the surprise away, especially when Callan and Clay arrived early to help get ready. Although they knew about her pregnancy, they didn’t know she was expecting twins.

  Josh took over grill duties and Clay helped set up chairs and tables, ran errands for Jenna and Callan, then directed guests as they arrived to the backyard under the shade trees. Once everyone arrived, Josh asked Clay to give thanks for the meal. When Clay finished, Josh cleared his throat and looked around the group.

  “Jenna and I are so happy you all could be here tonight. We not only wanted to enjoy a meal together, we have some news to share.” Josh wrapped a protective arm around Jenna at her place by his side. She blushed but offered him an encouraging nod. “We’re going to add two new farmhands to our operation next spring and we wanted you all to know.”

  “Two?” Callan asked with a surprised smile.

  “That’s right, two.” Josh beamed proudly, looking around the faces of family and friends and seeing confusion. He took a deep breath and continued. “We just found out yesterday we’re expecting twins.”

  Amid much hugging and words of congratulations, dinner sat forgotten on the table. Josh watched his dad wipe a tear from his eye. At eighty, he was still active and spry, but Josh knew the news was something he was overjoyed to hear.

  While the men sat around talking about farming after the meal, the women retreated to the kitchen where they made Jenna sit at the table with her feet up and passed around the ultrasound picture.

  Callan was nearly in tears as she looked at the babies. She leaned down next to Jenna and squeezed her hand. “I know this isn’t what you had planned, but what a blessing, Jen.”

  Jenna patted Callan’s hand where it rested on her shoulder and smiled. “I guess sometimes we have to let go of our plans so we can embrace something better - God’s plans. Thanks for supporting Josh. It meant so much to him. I appreciate your help while I was coming to my senses.”

  “Anytime,” Callan said, looking at the picture again. “These two babies are just the sweetest things ever.”

  Outside, Jake sat next to Clay, discussing his new job. Emma suddenly appeared and climbed on his lap. She stared up at him with her baby blue eyes, an inquisitive look on her face.

  “What’s up, Sweet Pea?” Jake asked, cuddling the little girl. Despite her adorable appearance, he was leery. No one knew what to expect when she had that curious look on her face.

  Emma rested her head against his chest and swung her feet over his leg. She started talking in a singsong voice. “I was just wondering…”

  “Wondering what, Sweet Pea?”

  “Where do babies come from?”

>   Jake glanced around as a look of panic swept across his face. Nervously nudging Clay with his elbow, he struggled to pull his thoughts together. “Well, er, I… um… I think your daddy better answer that question.”

  Clay’s neck muscles tensed while his shoulders inched toward his ears and his shirt collar grew too tight. Emma turned her curious blue eyes toward him with a look of expectancy. She was only six. He had no idea how to respond to her question.

  “You know, Sweet Pea, I think the person you should go ask is your mama. She can tell you exactly what you need to know.” Clay tweaked Emma’s nose then pointed to the house.

  “Okay.” Emma hopped down from Jake’s lap and ran inside the kitchen door.

  “Man, now there’s the way to handle an intense question.” Jake offered Clay a sly grin. “Just pass it off to your wife. Coward.”

  “Watch who you call a coward, chicken. She asked you first.” Clay’s shoulders returned to their normal position as he congratulated himself on how well he avoided a sticky question. “Besides, it isn’t cowardly, it’s smart. You might want to take down notes for future reference. If I told her something and Callan didn’t like what I said, then I’d get an earful about my response. This way, I keep myself out of trouble and Emma gets to hear exactly what Callan wants her to hear.”

  “I still say you’re a coward.” Jake offered an indifferent shrug, softening it with a grin. “A smart coward, but a coward all the same.”

  In the kitchen, Emma found Callan and tugged on her hand. “Mama, I asked Jake a question, and he told me to ask Daddy then Daddy told me to ask you. So can I please ask my question?”

  “Sure, Sweet Pea.” Callan picked up the little girl and set her on a barstool. “What is your question?”

  “Where do babies come from?”

  “Oh, well, they, um…” Callan’s brain went into overdrive searching for just the right answer to the question. The other women in the kitchen listened as silence fell over the room and they waited to hear how Callan would respond. Jenna could barely keep from laughing at the pained expression on Callan’s face. “Babies, Miss Sweet Pea, come from God. They are tiny little miracles he sends to mommies and daddies. Your Uncle Josh and Aunt Jenna are extra special because He’s sending them two babies. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “Yep. When will they get here? I want to play with them.” Emma swiveled the stool back and forth as she gripped the counter with her little fingers.

  “They won’t get here for a long time yet, close to Easter time. So first, we have school starting again and then Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day. Then the babies will come.” Callan tried to explain using dates Emma would understand and remember.

  “How will they get here?”

  “Aunt Jenna and Uncle Josh will go into the city one day and when they come home they will bring the babies with them.”

  “Why can’t they go get them tomorrow?”

  “The babies aren’t big enough to come home yet. You know how Grammy’s puppies have to be big enough they don’t need their mama before anyone can take them? Well, the babies have to be big enough to come home before Aunt Jenna can bring them to stay.”

  “Okay.” Emma shrugged her shoulders and jumped off the stool. “I’m going to go play outside now.”

  “That’s fine.” Relieved, Callan sank onto a barstool as Emma raced out the door.

  Bobbi walked over and gave her a hug. “You did a splendid job of answering her questions, Callan. Well done.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Callan said gratefully. A spark of irritation flamed in her emerald green eyes as she stared outside at the backyard. “Just wait until I get my hands on Clay. That son of yours is going to get an earful later. The big coward.”

  As their guests departed, each one offered another round of congratulations for Josh and Jenna’s happy news.

  After waving a final good bye from the front porch, Josh put his arm around Jenna and walked with her inside the house where welcome coolness provided respite from the sweltering August heat.

  “That was a nice evening, if I do say so myself,” Josh said, as they walked down the hall toward the family room.

  “It was nice, wasn’t it?” Jenna sat down on the couch and put her feet up on the ottoman. Josh pulled out the tails of his shirt while Jenna plucked the ponytail holder out of her hair. “Did you hear about Emma’s questions?”

  Ready to relax, Josh laughed and sat down beside her. He gently repositioned her so he could massage her neck and shoulders while they talked. “Jake and Clay were both quite proud at how fast they passed the buck along to Callan.”

  “I think Clay may regret that once they get home and the girls are in bed.” Jenna laughed, recalling the look on Callan’s face. “I just hope I can come up with great answers like she did on the spur of the moment. Everything she said was true, and the answers were simple and easy for Emma to understand.”

  “After Callan told Emma where babies came from, she marched back out to Clay and Jake. She glared at them both and said, ‘Mama said God makes babies. Why didn’t you tell me that?’ then ran off to play on the tree swing with Brant. It was pretty comical.”

  “I can imagine.” Jenna closed her eyes and enjoyed the massage her husband delivered to her tired muscles. It was as close to anything remotely resembling intimacy they’d shared since she’d found out she was expecting.

  Jenna kept waiting for Josh to exhibit some interest in her beyond the babies and so far it hadn’t happened. She was starting to show. Maybe the baby bump caused Josh to lose interest in her. She hoped he wouldn’t turn into one of those husbands who would spend the next several months viewing her only as a temporary housing unit for his offspring.

  As he sat kneading her shoulders and neck, Josh shifted his leg so he bracketed her body with his and she scooted back against him. He found her proximity along with her warmth and perfume nearly intoxicating.

  He missed being close with Jenna. Between her not feeling well, being gone, and blaming him for her career aspirations going up in smoke, there hadn’t been much opportunity for amorous overtures, but it wasn’t due to a lack of desire on his part.

  According to the books he read, pregnancy could give a woman a glow. Jenna had it to spare. Her radiant skin appeared soft and inviting with a lovely bloom of pink coloring each cheek. At that moment, he thought she’d never looked more enticing or beautiful.

  He worked his hands across her neck and shoulders, surrendering to the urge to nibble on her neck before running his lips along the outline of her ear. Heat coursed through his veins and his gut twisted with longing.

  When Jenna placed her hands on his thighs, rubbing the taught muscles through his jeans, he knew he was about to be consumed with his need for her. Every nerve in his body stood at attention and the attention focused solely on his wife.

  Josh tipped his head back, attempting to gather his composure. He happened to glance out the window and see a light on at the barn.

  Annoyed, he sighed. “Someone’s down at the barn or a light got left on. Either way, I better go check.” He pulled his leg from behind her and stood.

  “Do you have to go?” Her face held such a look of yearning, Josh felt his knees weaken. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

  He shook his head. “No, babe, I need to go check it out. I’d rather be safe than sorry.” He retrieved a pair of slippers and put them on. “I’ll just be a minute. I promise.”

  When be bent down to kiss her cheek, Jenna pulled him into a kiss hot with desire and loaded with temptation. Josh returned her kiss, aching with hunger for her.

  He pulled back and he stared into her face, falling into the dark pools in her eyes. “Jenna, I…”

  “Josh, do you find me repulsive? Can you not stand the thought of being with me?” Jenna interrupted, shooting off questions in her standard to-the-point fashion.

  “What?” Josh took a step back, startled by her words.

  �
��Since I’m starting to show, I thought maybe you’re no longer attracted to me. It’s been forever since you’ve shown any interest in… um… in being together,” Jenna said.

  Josh sank down on the ottoman and took her hands in his. “Babe, you have no idea. I want you so badly, I can hardly see straight. You mean you’re open to the idea?” When Jenna nodded her head, he let out a sigh. “I thought with all that’s gone on you just weren’t interested in...” He shot her a wicked grin. “Maybe ever again.”

  Jenna laughed. “I’m interested, Josh. I’m definitely interested. But you can’t tease me with massages like that if you don’t intend on doing more and taking it to the next level.”

  Josh leaned over and brushed aside Jenna’s hair. His fingers sent tingling sensations racing through her. As he nuzzled her neck again, his breath warm on her ear, his deep voice took on a husky tone that made goose bumps cover her arms. “I intend on doing much, much more, if you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind at all,” Jenna whispered, turning her head to give him a kiss that ignited the passion flickering between them. When she pulled back, she offered a flirtatious smile while her eyes smoldered invitingly. “Have I told you how smokin’ hot that goatee makes you look?”

  “Babe,” Josh growled. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her deeply. Reluctantly releasing the lips he’d held captive with his own, he touched his forehead to hers. “I still have to run down to the barn and check that darn light, but I’ll be right back. Will you hold that thought, please?”

  “You can count on it.” Jenna squeezed his hand as he set her back on the couch and gave her one more hurried kiss.

  Josh ran out the back door, jumped on the four-wheeler and raced to the barn. It looked like Audrey and Emma introduced the barn cat and her kittens to Alex and Brant and forgot to turn off the main light.

  Quickly making a pass through the barn to ensure everything was as it should be, he turned off the light, shut the door, and hustled back home. He jogged inside and hurried into the family room, only to find it empty.