Heart of Hope Read online

  “Thank you, again, Aunt Amelia. You can’t begin to know how much I appreciate you letting me stay, and taking care of me. I’ve been a little tired lately,” Jenna said between bites of her dinner.

  “You know you’re always welcome.” Amelia sat down across from Jenna at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in her hands. “Josh said you were exhausted and that you might have to give up your new job.”

  “Did Josh call?” Jenna asked, pushing her pasta around on her plate. Guilt stabbed her when she realized she’d forgotten to call him before she fell asleep.

  “No, you mentioned you needed to call him right before you fell asleep, so I gave him a quick ring to let him know you made it safely.” Amelia stared at her as though deep in thought. Finally, she placed her hand on top of Jenna’s and smiled. “Honey, is there something going on you want to talk about? I know Josh loves you and cares about you deeply. Is there some misunderstanding? Something that he did?”

  Tears pricked Jenna’s eyes and made it hard to swallow past the lump in her throat. Lately, her emotions seemed beyond her control, and she didn’t like it. Not one bit. “No, Josh didn’t… we just… I really can’t talk about it, Aunt Amelia. Not yet.”

  “Okay, honey.” Amelia patted her hand comfortingly before sitting back in her chair. “But when you’re ready, I’m right here for you.”

  Jenna hung out at the apartment, sleeping and thinking for the rest of the week. She texted Josh once a day just to let him know she was fine and taking her vitamins. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to him on the phone or go home for the weekend.

  The sound of his deep, baritone voice, laced with pain and hurting, would make her emotional. Seeing him in person would be her undoing. With an abundance of time to think and put her thoughts in order, she realized it was completely unfair to blame her predicament on him. She’d made the choices and now had to face the consequences.

  Monday morning, she dragged herself into the office. Jenna had no idea how she would make it through the day. The thought of spending eight hours upright made her head heavy.

  As she sat at her desk trying to decide what to do, her friend Barb strolled in and shut the door. Jenna had known the woman as long as she’d worked in the building. Barb was the person who originally hired her, had been a mentor, and was now a good friend and confidante.

  “What’s going on with you? You look terrible.”

  Barb’s intense stare, coupled with the furrows of worry etched across her friend’s forehead, caused Jenna to fight the urge to squirm in her seat.

  “It’s the new job. My doctor informed me that I’m exhausted and won’t be able to keep up with the hours and travel schedule required.” Jenna kept her gaze fastened to a pile of paperclips on her desk instead of Barb.

  “I could have told you that.” Barb sat down in the chair across the desk and laughed derisively. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I tried when you first mentioned applying for the job. I actually managed to last four months in that position when the powers-that-be talked me into taking it. That was a few years before you moved here. The job is grueling, unpleasant, and designed for single men with the stamina of a super hero. Roger was ready to file for divorce after the first two months. I was lucky he stuck it out until I came to my senses and requested my old job back.”

  “Good grief! Why didn’t you tell me?” Jenna asked, staring at Barb. If she’d warned her, maybe she wouldn’t be in this current mess.

  “I did tell you. I told you repeatedly. I think my exact words were, ‘Jenna, don’t do this to yourself or Josh. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into.’ However, you weren’t inclined to listen and had to figure it out for yourself firsthand.” Barb leveled a knowing glance her direction. “I might be taking a stab in the dark, but I’d bet money that if you hadn’t been plagued with exhaustion and forced to go to the doctor, you’d still be kidding yourself that the job is great and you’re learning so much from the challenge, yada-yada-yada. Right?”

  Annoyed that Barb knew her so well, Jenna narrowed her gaze at her friend.

  Barb grinned. “We need to figure out how to get you out of that job and back into an office job. You’ll most likely take a cut in pay, but it’s well worth it to get your life back.” Barb tapped an index finger against her chin running through the employee database in her head. “Who is retiring, quitting, or has their head on the chopping block?”

  Jenna’s mouth lifted in a smile. It was impossible to ignore Barb’s humor.

  “Oh, I know. There’s a position for a human resources specialist opening up in a few weeks. Frietag is transferring to the Salem office because her husband got a new job and they’re moving. I just heard that one this morning, so the vultures haven’t started circling yet. You should apply for it. It doesn’t include the glamour and unlimited power of your fabulous new position, but you get to work consistent hours and sleep in your own bed every night.”

  “So how do we get me that job?” Hope, like a spring of sweet, cool water, poured refreshingly over Jenna’s parched soul. “And when do I drop the bomb that I am all done with the traveling trainer position?”

  Barb she sat back in her chair. “Let’s make sure we play this right. Your current supervisor likes you, respects your work, and thinks you have ambition and talent to burn. She’s your best ally. You need to tell her right away that your marriage and your health can’t keep going with the current position but you love your job and working here, blah blah blah. Mention how you really wished there was an opening that would be a good fit for your skills. Let her come up with the idea for you to apply for the vacant position, since it also falls under her supervision. When she does, act interested. Let her talk you into it then she’ll make sure you are transferred. Voila! How hard is that?”

  “Not hard at all if it goes according to your evil plan.” Jenna leaned back in her desk chair and sighed. “The part you forget is that I’m not good at playing games. I tell it like it is and have very limited patience in waiting for people to get to the point.”

  “If you want this to work, you’re going to have to suck it up, girlfriend.” Barb rested her hands on her lap as she crossed one leg over the other and swung it in smug satisfaction at her brilliant idea. “Come on, Jenna. You can do this. You are trained to do this. So go do it.”

  “There is one other teeny little thing that I probably should mention.” Uncomfortable sharing all her secrets with Barb, Jenna realized she needed to confide in someone.

  “Go on,” Barb encouraged when Jenna remained oddly silent. She waved her hand dramatically for emphasis. “The teeny little detail would be?”

  “I’m pregnant.” Jenna let out a whoosh of air with the confession.

  Barb jumped out of her chair and screamed. “You are not! Say it isn’t so?” She ran around the desk, yanked Jenna to her feet, and gave her a hug as she bounced around enthusiastically.

  A knock sounded at Jenna’s office door and it swung open. A coworker looked at the two of them like they’d gone mad. “Everything okay in here?”

  “Everything is just fine, Bill.” Jenna grabbed Barb’s arm and gave her a small pinch. “Thank you for checking, though.”

  “Yep, all’s well.” Barb settled back down to earth and put a serious expression on her face. “I thought there was a spider on Jenna’s sleeve, but it was just a piece of lint.

  Bill rolled his eyes then shut the door.

  The moment the door latched, Barb resumed bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I’m so happy for you. This is great news.”

  “I’m glad someone’s happy, because it wouldn’t be me. It is terrible, earth-shattering, life-altering news,” Jenna said, sinking back into her chair.

  Barb sat down and stared at her so long, Jenna began to fidget. “What am I going to do?”

  “How far along are you?”

  “Eight weeks.”

  “That’s why you’re tired. That’s why you have to change jobs, isn’t it?”

&n
bsp; “Yes. Now help me figure this out,” Jenna pleaded.

  “You’re going to do exactly what I told you to do. Under no circumstances are you going to mention being pregnant. Not to anyone. By the time you start to show, they’ll be mesmerized by your talent and competency in the new position and will be more than happy to keep it open for you while you’re on maternity leave. I’d hold out for working part-time from home after the baby comes, if I were you. That position could totally be tele-commuter but they won’t go for it on a full-time basis. Dazzle them with your talent, girl, and they’ll be putty in your hands.”

  Jenna laughed for the first time in days. “You make it sound like a recipe. Here are the ingredients, stir this, mix that, bake for twenty minutes and the perfect life pops out of the oven.”

  Barb pointed to Jenna’s stomach and smiled. “That is exactly right. A perfect little life will pop out of the oven.”

  Wistful, Jenna sighed again. “You have no idea what this is doing to me.”

  “I think I do. You forget that I have three children. I was once in your shoes as the career woman with the perfect job, perfect husband, perfect life. Then a weekend at the beach with Romeo changed my life forever, but it changed in the very best way. Don’t fight it, embrace it. Your career is meaningless if you don’t have a life. I bet Josh can barely contain his excitement.”

  “Um... about that.” Jenna fiddled with a pen, drawing loops on a notepad on top of her desk instead of making eye contact with Barb. “I may have put a damper on his enthusiasm. I sort of blamed him for ruining my life and ran out on him last week. Aunt Amelia is letting me stay with her for a while. I haven’t told her why, just that I needed some time to think.”

  “Have you lost your mind? Don’t shut Josh out, Jenna. You’ll be making a mistake you’ll regret for a lifetime if you do.”

  “I know, but I needed a little time to absorb all this. We just found out Tuesday.”

  “Okay. Fine. Let’s rehearse what you are going to say to Mrs. Gordon. You’re going to go make nice and get that job. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  After half-an-hour of role playing and coming up with every possible scenario, Jenna walked to her supervisor’s office and knocked softly on the door. Mrs. Gordon looked up from her desk and smiled.

  “Jenna, come in. I was hoping to see you today. I’ve heard nothing but glowing reports about what a fantastic job you’re doing. I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thank you very much. Actually, I wanted to schedule an appointment to speak with you about my position.” Jenna stood just inside the door.

  “No time like the present. Have a seat.” Mrs. Gordon motioned to a chair across from her.

  Forty-five minutes later, Mrs. Gordon assured Jenna of her placement in the position that would soon become available. In exchange for that, she promised to leave the following morning for her final road trip. Plagued by exhaustion, she wasn’t sure how she would survive more time traveling, but decided she could do anything for two weeks.

  On her way back to her office, she gave Barb two thumbs up as she passed her office door.

  Desperately wishing she hadn’t run away from Josh, she wanted to go home and see him. However, it would save her time and give her more rest if she stayed at Amelia and Phil’s.

  As soon as she left work, Jenna tried calling Josh’s cell but it went straight to his voice mail. She tried three more times throughout the evening, growing more upset each time he failed to answer. After the last call, she left him a lengthy message and asked him to call her back as soon as possible.

  Early the next morning, she ate breakfast, took her vitamins, and said goodbye to her aunt and uncle. She stood outside waiting to cross the street to her car when her cell rang.

  “Babe, it’s me. I just got your message. I’m so sorry. Jake and I went to Clay and Callan’s for dinner last night and I forgot my phone in my dirty jeans. I didn’t even think to check it when I got home,” Josh hurriedly explained. “Are you really leaving this morning for another two weeks?”

  The sound of his voice filled her with mixed emotions. Part of her was still angry at him, but part of her longed to be back in his arms, to be surrounded by his love. “Yes, I’m not thrilled about it, but I have some things I want to discuss with you when I get back. I’d like to come home then, if that’s okay?” Jenna hoped Josh would be as wonderful and forgiving as always and ignore her bad behavior of the past week.

  “More than okay.” Josh released a sigh of relief. “I miss you so much, Jenna, and I love you.”

  “I love you, too, more than anything, even my career.” Jenna said, with a shaky laugh. She opened her trunk and struggled to hang onto her phone and set the suitcase inside. After slamming the trunk lid, she climbed behind the wheel and buckled herself in. “I’ll call you tonight. Have a good day.”

  “Be careful driving, Jenna. If you get tired, pull over somewhere and rest. If you ever get to the point where you can’t keep driving or you need help, call me. I’d drive all over God’s green earth for you, so don’t forget it,” Josh instructed. His words of caution warmed her heart, reminding her how much he cared about her.

  “I won’t. Thanks, Josh.”

  In much better spirits after his call with Jenna that morning, Josh whistled as he loaded hay bales onto a semi-truck trailer with the loader tractor. His cell phone rang as he set the last bale on the load. As he backed the tractor away from the trailer, he glanced at the caller ID. Jake could wait a few minutes for a call back while Josh concluded business with the hay buyer.

  A few minutes later, Josh had a check in his pocket and waved to the driver as the truck pulled out onto the road from the stackyard.

  He hurried to return Jake’s call. It didn’t take long for his hired hand to answer. “Hey, Jake, sorry I didn’t answer. I was finishing up with a hay buyer. What can I do for you?”

  “I just got called in for a job interview at the lab that I’ve been trying to get into for months. The appointment is at two this afternoon. Do you mind if I take the rest of the day off?” Jake sounded anxious and excited.

  Josh knew the interview was important to Jake and his future career plans. “No problem. I hope you nail it. When they hire you, I’ll be sorry to lose the best hired hand I’ve ever had.”

  Jake laughed. “You mean the only hired hand you’ve ever had. Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

  “Knock ‘em dead,” Josh said as he disconnected the call.

  Evidently, Jake took Josh’s advice to heart because two days later he accepted an offer for the job as an intern. He would start work a week from the following Monday, leaving Josh very little time to find a replacement for Jake.

  As obnoxious as the young man could be on occasion, Josh trusted him, appreciated his ability to take on any task without any complaint, and his knowledge of everything it took to manage a farm. Jake was a good friend and in many ways, like a younger brother. Josh would miss having him around.

  To celebrate Jake’s new job, Josh grilled steaks and broke out his last few brownies for dinner that night.

  “Congratulations, man.” Josh thumped Jake on the back as they sat down at the counter in the kitchen to eat. “I’m proud of you.”

  “Thanks, man. That means a lot to me. I appreciate you giving me a job and a place to live this summer.” For a change, Jake sounded serious. “It’s been really nice to get to know you and Jenna better.”

  “I appreciate all your hard work and help this summer. You’ve done a lot of things that weren’t expected of you and I’m grateful for the gentle way you’ve treated Jenna.”

  Jake stopped cutting into his steak and looked at Josh. “Other than the snake in my bed and the, um, mistaken identity issue in the kitchen, it’s been awesome.” He grinned broadly before continuing to slice into the juicy, tender piece of beef. “And no, I still say I didn’t see anything.”

  “Good answer.” Josh gave Jake a playful punch on his arm. “Anytime you want to w
ork for me, I’d be happy to have you.”

  “Thanks. If I ever get tired of the city and decide to move back here to the sticks, I’ll let you know.”

  Josh laughed. “Bright lights can make you bleary-eyed before you know it. I stuck it out through four years of college and eight years at the dealership.”

  “Do you ever miss it?” Jake asked, curious about Josh’s decision to leave behind a high-paying city career to become a farmer. “The excitement and the fast-pace? The money? The sounds? The food? The adventure around every corner?”

  “Honestly I don’t. I’ve got about all the excitement I can handle right here and as for adventure, being married to Jenna is better than anything I could have ever imagined.”

  Jake turned and studied his friend and employer, a warm smile lighting his face. “If you and Clay hadn’t snatched up the only two girls fit to marry, then maybe I’d be more inclined to head that direction. Unless or until I find someone as special as them, I plan to enjoy the life of being single and unattached.”

  “You’ve got plenty of time to think about settling down.” Josh took a bite of his steak, chewing thoughtfully. He was more familiar with how much Jake enjoyed playing the field than his hired hand realized. “Just be careful you don’t end up in a situation that forces your hand, if you know what I mean.”

  Aware that Jake had overnight guests of the female persuasion a few times, Josh also noticed it was never the same girl. Jenna was unaware of the extra-curricular activities taking place in the house down the road, or she would have had a full-blown hissy fit.

  Josh figured it really wasn’t his business what Jake did in his spare time, but he hated the thought of Jake tripping down the road to parenthood or matrimony before he was ready.

  “I know what you mean.” Jake stared at his food, avoiding eye contact. “Thanks for being cool about, you know, my guests.”

  “Yeah. Just don’t mention it to my wife. She doesn’t have a clue and you wouldn’t want to be around if she did.” Josh raised an eyebrow at Jake when he looked up from his plate. “I guarantee more than just your ears would smart for a good long while.”