Between Christmas and Romance Page 12

  “Someone is still threatening you?”

  “Yes. Jason sends me updates every few months, via coded messages mailed by his youngest daughter at her college campus. The police still haven’t caught anyone, but there’s been another poisoning attempt, a near hit-and-run, and someone tried to knife Blake back in October when she was walking down the sidewalk in front of my apartment building. She wasn’t hurt, but the assailant got away. Threatening letters arrive at the apartment at least once a month with dire warnings. The police have analyzed them and have a few leads, but nothing has panned out so far.”

  “Oh, Carol, I’m sorry you had to go through all that, are still dealing with it. No wonder you’re so careful and guarded. I can’t blame you at all, baby.” His lips brushed over my temple.

  I wasn’t certain if it was the kiss or the way he called me baby that left me so languid I wasn’t sure how I’d get on the horse and ride to the house.

  “We should probably be getting back,” he said, although he made no move to leave. “Any other secrets you need to share?”

  Well, I certainly wasn’t going to tell him how much I liked him. In truth, I realized I was in love with Tim Burke. During my years of modeling, I’d dated a lot of men. I’d been on the arms of celebrities and even a few royals, but no one made me feel like Tim could with just a look or a touch. And it went far beyond the realm of physical attraction.

  Tim made me laugh, challenged my mind, and we had a lot in common, too. He even liked the same books and movies that I enjoyed. Not to mention I loved his grandmother and aunt, but I couldn’t tell him any of that. Not until whoever was after me was behind bars.

  Granted, I was probably as safe as I could possibly be in Christmas Mountain, but I’d never be able to rest easy until I knew for certain I wouldn’t one day wake up and find someone standing over my bed, ready to strangle or suffocate me. The last thing I’d do is put someone I love in jeopardy and that certainly included Tim. Although he looked like he could wrestle a bear and win, I refused to even consider the possibility of things going any further between us until my stalker was no longer a threat.

  I turned slightly and picked up the magazines then raised my eyebrows in question. “One of these magazines came out four years ago and these three are from two years past. Where did you find them?” Curiosity kept my gaze pinned on him even when he dropped his eyes from mine. If I wasn’t imagining it, I was sure he blushed.

  “I, um… well, I kind of…”

  “You kind of what?” I asked when he fell silent.

  He cleared his throat twice before he spoke. “The first time I saw a photo of Lyra was when I was overseas on a tour of duty. One of the guys had a friend that sent him a box of magazines and he shared with the rest of us. When I saw you on the cover, I don’t know what it was. It wasn’t just a ‘Wow! Look at that beautiful girl’ kind of thing. I felt this deep connection to you I can’t explain. From then on, if I saw a magazine with your photo on it, I bought it.”

  “So you’ve been hankering after Lyra all this time and when you saw me, you what?” I leaned away although he still had his arms around me as I sat glowering at him over my shoulder. “Did you decide you’d found a Lyra look alike and could make do with her?”

  The stupidity of being jealous of myself wasn’t lost on me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Tim liked me as Carol or because he knew I was Lyra.

  Tim picked me up like I weighed next to nothing then set me across his lap. He tipped back his hat and stared at me with such a fierce look in his eyes, I didn’t know whether to be afraid or scoot a little closer to him.

  “Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you, Carol Bennett. The reason I felt the connection to Lyra had nothing to do with her hair, or her incredible body, or her clothes, it was something I could see in her eyes. Not in the color, but in the depths. Even with all that makeup, she looked kind and there was always a gentleness about her. I bet everyone who met Lyra said she was a nice person.”

  “Possibly.” Truthfully, Jason and some of my friends, like Lacey, used to tease me about being too nice. I still don’t think such a thing is possible, though. You can never be too nice, too kind, too caring. Despite my thoughts on the subject, I had been less than kind to Tim when we first met and I regretted every snarky comment I tossed at him.

  His hold on me tightened. “The first time I met you, I felt something in here,” he said, taking my hand and placing it on his chest. “Even if we didn’t exactly get along that first day, I couldn’t get you out of my thoughts. Why do you think I went home and dug out all these magazines? I was so fascinated with you I immediately saw the resemblance to Lyra. And for the record, I much prefer blue eyes to green and your sun-kissed hair to red. If I had to choose, I’d pick you, Carol, over a super model any day.”

  Talk about wooing with words, Tim had just done a stellar job. Before I could utter a reply, his lips captured mine and no more words were needed. That familiar electric jolt rocked through my entire body as the kiss deepened and Tim drew me closer to him. Everything in me shouted that this was where I’d always belonged, where I should always stay. Too involved in the kiss to tell the voice in my head to hush, I returned Tim’s fervor until I was sure the sparks between us would set the trees on fire.

  Finally, he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against mine. “Any doubt about who holds my heart and my love?” The husky rumble of his voice made my insides quiver.

  “No. No doubts,” I whispered then pulled his head down to mine. Eager for more of his kisses they provided a mind-numbing distraction as I avoided telling him I loved him, too.

  The ringing of his cell phone interrupted our impassioned connection. He was grumbling something I couldn’t hear as he yanked the phone from his pocket.

  “What’s wrong, Nana?”

  I couldn’t help but grin when I realized his ringtone had been “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” I wondered if Nancy knew he’d set that as the way to identify her calls. If she did, she most likely thought it was hilarious.

  “No. We’ll be back soon.”

  He rolled his eyes as he looked at me and I pressed my lips together to keep from giggling.

  “Yes, Nana. Okay. See you in a bit.” He tucked the phone back inside his coat pocket, kissed me on the nose, then set me on the blanket. He stood and grinned down at me. “Nana has threatened to send out a search party if I don’t bring you back to the house soon. She’s convinced I’ll let you get frostbite if we stay out much longer.”

  The heat sizzling between the two of us could have kept me warm in the middle of a blizzard, but I definitely wouldn’t explain that detail to Nancy.

  Tim held out a hand and pulled me to my feet when I took it. He stuffed the magazines back in the envelope and returned it along with the thermos to his saddle bags while I folded the blanket. He rolled it up and tied it behind his saddle, then led me around to mount Jude.

  “Need any help?” he asked as he handed me the reins.

  “I think I’ve got it.” I swung into the saddle with ease even though my backside and thighs protested.

  “Oh, you’ve got it, all right,” he said, winking at me before he walked over to Rowan and mounted.

  Uncertain as to what, exactly, he thought I had, I let it drop as we rode back to the house. It took a while before I thawed out, but the Christmas tea (a blend of black tea with vanilla and nutmeg that tasted a lot like eggnog) and spice bundt cake topped with a buttery sauce Charli served helped.

  When we finished the snack, Nancy insisted I stay and help them finish decorating the towering fir tree that had to be at least fifteen feet tall. Tim stood on a ladder above me while I handed him ornaments and Nancy told stories about each one. I studied an ornament clearly made by a child.

  “Tim made that in first grade,” Nancy said, pointing to the clothespin reindeer I held.

  “It’s adorable.” I handed it to Tim with a warm smile. For a minute, I thought he might slide rig
ht down the ladder and give me a kiss. Instead, he took the ornament with a smoldering look that made me rethink my plan to tell him to stay away from me for a while.

  As we finished decorating the tree, Tim asked me to sing a few carols. I discovered he had a rich baritone that complimented my alto voice. I also learned Nancy can’t carry a tune worth beans but Charli did a good job singing soprano.

  Nancy and Charli insisted I stay for dinner (which was fabulous). After I helped Charli with the dishes, I knew it was time to leave. Charli boxed up a piece of the chocolate cream pie we had for dessert and sent it with me to enjoy later.

  “If you keep feeding me like this, I’m going to be as round as Mrs. Claus,” I said, giving Charli a hug and then Nancy.

  “I don’t think you have a thing to worry about, darling,” Nancy said with a smile. “We’re just glad you came out today.”

  “Me, too. I had a wonderful time and appreciate the delicious meal. You ladies have a peaceful evening and a great week. If you come into town, stop by the store.”

  “We will, Carol,” Nancy said with a wave as Tim walked with me out of the kitchen and down the hall to the front door.

  He held my coat as I slipped it on then yanked on his coat and opened the door. The air was bitingly cold, but Tim dropped his arm around my shoulders as we walked over to my car, keeping me warm.

  I started the engine but slid back out while the heater kicked on. Tim opened his arms and I went straight into them, hugging him tightly. Goodness only knew if I’d ever have the opportunity again.

  The words I needed to say were lodged in my throat like a glob of school paste (not that I ever ate it as a kid), but I’d already waited far too long to push Tim away.

  I wracked my brain for the best thing to say. Tim brushed a thumb over my cheek then kissed me so tenderly and sweetly, my whole body felt like a lump of putty. Never in my life had I experienced such a kiss or such a longing to love and be loved by another human being.

  “Tim,” I whispered, eyes still closed, lingering in his embrace.

  “I meant what I said earlier. You’re beautiful, intelligent, fun, witty, successful, and amazing. I know it seems too soon, but I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Carol, I really do love you.”

  I love you was on the tip of my tongue but I bit it before the words spilled out of my mouth. I did love Tim. More than I would have imagined possible since we’d only known each other a few short weeks, but he was everything I could ever want in a man, even if I was just now realizing it. It was because of how much I loved him that I had to let him go.

  “Tim, I…” I still couldn’t bring myself to say something that would hurt him. I stopped, attempting to collect my thoughts. The speech I’d prepared in my head seemed trite as I recalled what I planned to say. Tim deserved better than that, more than that. And no matter how much easier it would have made things, I refused to lie to him.

  His expression changed from happy to disappointed, obviously assuming I didn’t feel the same. “It’s okay, Carol. You don’t have to say anything. I shouldn’t have said anything. I promise I won’t turn into a weird stalker, or anything.”

  “I know you won’t, Tim. I just need some time.” That much was true. My head felt like it was spinning in circles. Between the holidays, my store, dredging up family memories, and falling in love with Tim, I was about to drown in emotions. A little time away from him would help give me perspective and clear my head. Then there was that whole keep him safe thing, too.

  “I can give you all the time you need, Carol. Just don’t forget about me.”

  “How could I forget about you? Tim Burke makes a strong impression that sticks with you.”

  A hollow laugh burst out of him, one that held no mirth. “That’s what I’m afraid is the problem.”

  “No, Tim. It’s me. I just need…”

  “Time,” he said, looking so dejected, I almost admitted how much I cared for him, loved him.

  Instead, I kissed his cheek, climbed inside my toasty vehicle, and headed home. I didn’t allow myself the luxury of tears until I sank up to my chin in a bathtub full of hot water and my favorite bath salts.

  Then I couldn’t seem to stop crying.

  Chapter Eleven

  “What happened to your hunkalicious cowboy?” Karen asked after the customer she was assisting left with a bag full of brightly-wrapped packages. “I haven’t seen him around the store lately.”

  “We’re taking a break,” I said, which was true. The reasons behind it and how miserable it made me were something I wouldn’t discuss, though.

  Karen just raised her left eyebrow and shook her head. “Girl, guys like him don’t come along every day, or even every decade. It takes a special kind of man to wear a Santa suit and let dozens of children swarm him when he had no prior knowledge that’s how he’d spend his Saturday morning.”

  “I know,” I said on a sigh. Tim was special. Wonderful. In fact, I’d been mentally composing a list of words to describe him when Karen interrupted me. So far, I’d come up with terrific, tantalizing, talented, tasty, tender, tremendous, tolerant, troublesome, and tough. I should get out my thesaurus and see how many more I could add.

  Or, I could focus on the fact Christmas was a few days away and my store was packed with shoppers.

  I smiled at Karen and patted her arm as I walked past her on my way to stock shelves. “It’ll be fine, Karen.”

  As I watched a mother with two precious little girls, I felt a sudden yearning to have children of my own. The face that popped into my head when I thought about children was Tim’s. He’d proven beyond a shadow of a doubt he’d be a fabulous dad not to mention an amazing husband.

  But I was not in the market for happily ever afters. At least not at the moment.

  After I left Aspen Grove Ranch the day I told Tim I needed time, I assumed things were over between us.

  Instead, he’d been incredibly sweet. He’d mailed me a hilarious Christmas card and had signed it, “Yours, Tim.”

  One morning I let Hemi outside and found a box with my name on it leaning against the door. Inside was a note from Tim telling me to enjoy Charli’s breakfast. I was excited to discover a thermos of her minty hot chocolate and a foil-wrapped package of chocolate chip muffins that were surprisingly still warm.

  Yesterday afternoon, I’d looked up from the cash register to see the florist carrying in a beautiful arrangement of Christmas greens and red and white flowers. With it was a basket filled with an assortment of holiday teas, rich chocolates, delicious cookies, and a note from Tim that simply said he was thinking of me.

  Marilyn had been there at the time and nearly pestered the patience right out of me asking question after question.

  I took the basket and arrangement up to my apartment and sent Tim a text, thanking him for his thoughtfulness. This morning, I savored every drop of one of the teas he’d sent that was a luscious blend of vanilla and cinnamon with nutty undertones. And I may have eaten a package of chocolate-dipped butter cookies for breakfast.

  Admittedly, I missed Tim, missed his silly text messages and the calls we’d gotten into the habit of making each evening at the end of our day. I missed the warmth of his presence and the joy of his smile. And then there was the way he looked at me, eyes smoldering, like I was the most magnificent woman he’d ever met.

  I definitely had it bad for Tim. Here I was with Christmas fast approaching, a booming business, friends all around me, and I was miserable. All I could think about was Tim and how much I longed to be with him.

  Ugh! I needed to get out of my own head and concentrate on helping the customers waiting in line. By the time the store closed that evening, I was an exhausted mess.

  Not even indulging in another cup of tea along with a hot, scented bath helped, although I did fall asleep in the tub. I might have spent the whole night there if Hemi hadn’t taken it upon himself to tell me it was time for bed. He meowed so loudly it startled me awake. I banged my ankle on the f
aucet as I jumped up, then had to execute a few fancy moves to keep from falling on the slick floor when I splashed water all over.

  The angry glares I tossed at the cat didn’t bother him in the least. He merely sat on the bath rug licking his paw, as though he hadn’t disturbed me at all.

  I remained tense, quiet, and inwardly peevish the next few days.

  Christmas Eve morning I awoke after another restless night with the strangest feeling something was off, like something had happened. I grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand and checked, but I had no messages. I did a double-take when I actually noticed the time. It was only four-thirty.

  I flopped back against the pillows, but after five minutes, it was clear I wasn’t going to get more rest.

  Tossing back the covers, I got up and started to dress in my workout clothes, but changed my mind. I took a long shower, allowed myself the luxury of curling my hair, and applied a little makeup. I tugged on a pair of my favorite jeans (a gift from a happy designer), pulled on a cream sweater (one I’d picked up in Scotland), and spritzed on expensive perfume. After I slid my feet into a pair of flats, I wandered into my kitchen.

  I made a cup of tea (cinnamon and clove-infused green tea), then sat on the couch and flipped on the television. I turned to a holiday movie and tried to get lost in the story, but my thoughts tumbled around and over each other. The feeling something was wrong just kept getting stronger and stronger.

  I turned off the television, picked up my cup of tea, and almost tripped over Hemi as he wound between my feet, purring.

  “Come on, furball,” I said in a teasing tone. “Let’s go see if anything is amiss in the store.”

  Together, Hemi and I made our way downstairs. I’d left the Christmas lights on and they glowed cheerfully through the early morning darkness. Rather than turn on the overhead lights, I made my way down the hallway, let Hemi outside and fed him, then returned to the front of the store.

  I turned on all the lights and looked up and down every aisle, searched every cranny, and discovered Mia asleep in an overstuffed chair in the biography section. How had that little imp managed to hide while I locked up last night?